fishstyx

Steve

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altar boy prayer by fishstyx, literature

big long one by fishstyx, literature

forever? by fishstyx, literature

Remembering regret by fishstyx, literature

Literature

Remembering regret

Deep within our silent war shattered glass is buried unseen beneath a shroud of ice stained deep with what it carried lost beneath the layers of time-worn memory the piercing ache that it draws forth 'till now still burdens me though all wounds heal within due time I fear i can't recover caused by the shame I left behind deep within another seemingly I still stand whole Truth is, I've come undone I only wish this tale had died before it had begun

solitude by fishstyx, literature

Literature

solitude

A dead man walks this city a person of metal without a heart I gave it away at the beginning in the end it was torn apart amongst the lights I wander I watch the living pass me but the wondrous things I witness fail to ease the pain I carry gone into oblivion to places I can't find the warmth inside has left me the joy I once called mine if I live forever will the scars she's left me heal? will I ever cleanse my spirit of the sorrow that I feel? a heartless man within this city with no hope of finding joy i'll wander aimless, without a soul i'm the one that you've destroyed

post-mortem by fishstyx, literature

Literature

post-mortem

I must admit that I'm afraid you'll see right through my lies the only thing I truly fear is the side of me you despise forgive me for being faithless though there's no turning back you said that courage was all I'd need but that's what I truly lacked I thought that I could be the one who'd bring you your salvation but because I lacked the strength to act we wallow in stagnation I view you through your walls of doubt and see the side that shines it kills me that you can't break free of your aimless state of mind I'm sorry that I'm such a fool you know that I'm not strong and I'm ashamed to be the one to prove that you were

Damage control by fishstyx, literature

Literature

Damage control

by my own hands I've destroyed what I adored I'll always be stained by that demise and I'll always be what I despise there is no damage control what's dead is buried it's buried whole My regret lies in your shame I'd take the bullet but I can't take your blame there is no chance for me to take there is no move for me to make all that's left is self hatred there is no damage control what's dead is buried it's buried whole I'll let go of what I've lost I'll discard what remains but I can't because I'm a coward and therein lies my shame my despair my regret my self hatred

Sorry by fishstyx, literature

Literature

Sorry

You're angry and I'm down and it's always the same you're enraged, I'm pathetic and afraid of the flame I can't find the words to express my regret I know I was foolish but please, won't you forget? I've wronged you before and I'll wrong you again I'm far less than perfect but that's not my intent I see that you're fragile but then, so am I and each broken promise makes me want to die each time that I hurt you I drown in my shame I'm torn by your words but I know I'm to blame I've been such a fool and I know I'm unfair please know being stupid doesn't mean I don't care

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I hate my teacher by fishstyx, literature

Literature

I hate my teacher

Teacher makes me sleepy teacher's such a bore I'd rather have him kill me I feel like such a whore Feels as if he screws me by fucking with my mind feeling drugged and hazy my mind starts to unwind Into darkness falling I feel theres no escape just too fucking boring with words my mind he rapes my mind's eye sees light fading my brain is shutting down teacher smacks his pointer hard upon my hairy crown please stop your fucking snoring the sound's disrupting class if I see you sleep again I'll fail your sorry ass.

Hatred of the truth by fishstyx, literature

Literature

Hatred of the truth

Sold by father cruelly so he could search for peace he knew not that he left me with sorrow as a disease I never really worried about which path to take my life was screwed already whatever choice i'd make And so I kept on falling too numb to really care it didn't matter to me what pains i had to bear searching without meaning a mind wthout a will death was my last sane option and yet I'm breathing still but then one day they beckoned for me to lend my soul by them I was expected to play the hero's role fighting for a future i'd never hope to see I prayed for death on white wings to come and set me free burned by brig

Rest by fishstyx, literature

Literature

Rest

Beyond the setting shadows And twilight's fading light lies peace hidden in darkness and rest that comes from night Behind we leave our problems away we put our cares deceive ourselves to forget the burdens which we bear Free from all the bindings that keep us chained by day at last we can breathe easy at last in peace we lay Put away all your worries and rest in darkness deep. what greets us upon waking is that which makes us weep.

peace pipe by fishstyx, literature

Literature

peace pipe

Embrace me with your tendrils those formless, bone-white limbs you bring me comfort always when my existence dims Chase away the sorrow that fills me when I'm down you're always there to save me when my soul begins to drown cleanse me with your poison as I breathe you in fill me with your dark pleasure make me forget my sins we live to end existence so kill me slow and deep when my lungs will fail me I won't have breath to weep

Constant companion by fishstyx, literature

Literature

Constant companion

I looked up from the darkness in search of guiding light to give me new awareness and bless me with new sight deeply did I desire to see things in new ways to purge consuming darkness and light my darkened days But this wish was not granted I'm still consumed by dark the view from my prespective makes sorrow seem more stark but then I'm used to sadness it comforts me somehow It's been with me since long ago even untill now So I guess its not that bad to always feel this way at least the mood's still with me each and every day

Because Godesses eat roses by fishstyx, literature

Literature

Because Godesses eat roses

Because Godesses eat roses that's why you're starved for living Turn down your mood when I'm around to fight the pain I"m giving To smile means that you must suffer why is fate so damn cruel? What's hurting you so fucking bad is what makes of me a fool To force that falseness on yourself it's what you just can't do I don't mind the pain you bring me as long as it comes from you I'm fine with your cutting both ways we all need to bleed sometimes this release helps us to forget the bitterness of our crimes hidden in your tower of strength is quiet, bitter frailty beneath the mask of harshness lies a sos fter kind of beauty

Because you were obscure by fishstyx, literature

Literature

Because you were obscure

Faced by mediocrity life filled with stagnation To ascend to greatness was your proud, naive ambition success is never easy you strove to reach the sky but fell because you knew not that hope is naught but lies but inspiration flashes it draws you to its glow it burns with bright deception now you're carrion for the crows Fate toys with you cruelly and lures you with false promise. raise you high so it can see slowly fall to darkness life filled with death and failure by truthless love harassed tortured so close to breaking by shadows of the past so now you're drowned in sorrow your chances far too few soundless, you sc

The beauty of madness by fishstyx, literature

Literature

The beauty of madness

I'm comfortably miserable and emotionally dead I wanna set things on fire and blow off my fucking head So tired I can't sleep now in a pennyroyal daze Mom brought me to the doctor's they said "It's just a phase" I understand their lies now deception's just a game I realize I'm crazy my family I blame They put upon me pressure to be what I am not they expected submission but that's not what they got I know now that I'm crazy I can't deceive my mind It broke me so many times to seek but never find And now with new awareness that madness has its beauty I sit back and let things flow as my mind conumes me

Despite the pain by fishstyx, literature

Literature

Despite the pain

I tried to run from sorrow and used up all my means. With blood, fire and dead desire but gloom stains what pain cleans. It's quiet all around me, puctuating one sound. Sorrow's whisper drowning out what I thought I had found. It's so numb inside me now. Can't feel pain or ashes. I just can't seem to get up, despite all the slashes. Flowing blood I can't feel Bitter pain I can't taste Drowning darkness I can't see old comforts gone to waste. Bone white breath stops its rytm red warmth ceases to seep. My old friends can't wake me up, my sleep is far too deep.

broken creation by fishstyx, literature

Literature

broken creation

A life without a purpose I live only to find Everyday feels worthless am I a waste of time? I just wasn't meant to be anyone or anything a useless piece of garbage not even worth it burning I wake up every morning just wishing I would die My soul is without comfort i've wings that cannot fly And when I finally open my eyes to what I've done my eyes fill up with tears blacker than the sun never was and never will be how the hell could God forsake me?

Watchers 26

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hayamimoco

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epithumia

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Watching 55

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noah-kh

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Club-Marijuana

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The Hippie by kaloberal, literature

Literature

The Hippie

One fine day in the South of France Sat a hindu hippie fixed in a trance Hair was long and dull as the skies Above him flew a hoard of flies Smelled so bad, but did he care? Didn't look at passerbys, just sat there Had a little joint and he smoked it dry Till his eyes turned red and he was high In bliss he did whisper, his voice was hoarse He was in the front of the percepting doors Like a wannabe guru lost in time Where money is power and peace is crime Raidrops fell and he looked above And yelled at the sun to spread the love

Happiness by Crazy-Foxx, literature

Deviation Spotlight

altar boy prayer by fishstyx, literature

altar boy prayer

fishstyx

About fishstyx

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Artist // Literature

July 15
Philippines
Deviant for 19 years
He / Him

Badges

My Bio

Current Residence: Cebu city, Philippines
Favourite genre of music: Rock, industrial, goth, alternative, metal
Operating System: windows 98. it sux!
MP3 player of choice: winamp 3.0 and below 0.o
Wallpaper of choice: Anything evangelion
Favourite cartoon character: Asuka Langley
Personal Quote: Life's like a box of chocolates. Is sucks if its made in the Philippines.

Favourite Visual Artist

Rebecca Guay

Favourite Movies

the end of evangelion

Favourite Bands / Musical Artists

Urbandub, Mars Volta, Circa Survive, nirvana, faspitch

Favourite Writers

Tomas Hardy

Favourite Games

tekken!!!!

Favourite Gaming Platform

ps1 (it's all I can afford >_<)

Tools of the Trade

keyboard+screen+mind altering jizm

Other Interests

anime, music, martial arts, cats, reading, poetry, rolling cones

Posts

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fishstyx

Jun 15, 2007

lazy and not giving a f*ck

0 min read

Real mood: Dizzy with shame :D well, hello there :) I have a few new pieces. Less depth more vulgarity hahahahaha

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fishstyx

Dec 27, 2006

About herbs, getting lost and other such things

0 min read

It's been a long F'ing time since I've done much of anything here on my account, so I guess I'll get back on my feet with a journal entry... What have been up to while I've been gone...? Well, I discovered I have a green thumb o_O My little baby seedlings are growing slowly but surely on the ledge outside my window and it looks like they'll grow some very tasty buds in a few more months :D I think I'll put up a few pics too... I've got some nice pics of a preying mantis on one of my seedlings ;p On the spiritual side... I think I'm a calmer person now. I still have no f'ing idea about what to do with myself though... But I'm sorta le

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fishstyx

Jul 3, 2006

Shut-down time o_O

0 min read

well, kids. I hate to admit it, but I've lost my artistic mojo T_T So I'll have to take a bit of a break from DA. I'll still check stuff out and post comments though. But sadly for all 3 of my fans, I wont be posting for a long while o_O Keep cool, children. Hopefully i'll be back soon.